Love is Not Jealous

This icon shows monks climbing the ladder of virtues toward Christ and the saints. Most fall to their doom because they give in to temptations rather than heeding their guardian angels and struggling against sin. The monks reach the top of the ladder when they focus on love and Who it is that they are climbing toward.


Love waits patiently, it is kind; love is not jealous, love is not conceited, nor is it inflated… nor does it seek its own interests… it bears everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

This chapter which describes love is perhaps the chapter heard most often because it is read at weddings so often. St. Paul describes love in phrases that are short and simple, just as Plato describes love in a series of short sentences although Plato uses eros rather than agape as the word for “love.” Plato’s praise of love is part of an after-dinner speech in the Symposium and other authors who praised love after that usually made it part of an after-dinner speech as well. St. Paul’s praise of love is also in the context of an after-dinner reflection (cf. 1 Cor. 11:17-34).

Much of what St. Paul writes in 1 Cor 13 also appears in Romans 12. Both chapters are describing what love looks like and how people behave who love one another.

“Love is not jealous.” That is especially important in a parish like Corinth that is torn apart by jealousy. The parishioners are jealous of each other’s spiritual gifts and abilities. They refuse to talk together or eat together. “Conceited” people brag about themselves and their gifts and their abilities, just as the Corinthians bragged.

The Ladder of Divine Ascent (a guide to monastic life but with much applicability to Christians who are not monastics) suggests that jealousy is the result of avarice (Step 17) or pride (Step 23). Avarice always wants, wants, want. It wants more. In Corinth, this creates jealousy because people wanted more spiritual gifts, they wanted what they saw other people had and felt jealous that they did not have these gifts as well. Pride gives birth to jealousy because if I am proud, I want the most and the biggest and most spectacular of the spiritual gifts; pride leads to jealousy if someone has what the proud person wants.

If the parishioners in Corinth claim to practice love, they have to first stop bragging about themselves and being jealous of each other.

The greater the love of God that the saints possess, the more they endure all things for him.

St. Augustine of Hippo, On Patience, 17

Older translations of the New Testament often used “charity” to translate agape.

A man with charity fears nothing for charity casts out fear. When fear is banished and cast out, charity endures all things, bears all things. One who bears all things through love cannot fear martyrdom.

St. Ambrose of Milan, Letter 49

Love (our behavior now), faith (in God and Christ now), and hope (about the General Resurrection, the Kingdom of God, and the Second Coming of Christ) support and complement each other. They define authentic Christian life.

St. Valentine AND St. Hyacinth

Hyacinth and bluebells are traditionally associated with love and fidelity, telling the truth — and rabbits!

“Saint Hyacinth!” Who’d athunk it?!

Last year, a reader of Romanian background remarked that a post about St. Valentine and love magic made no reference to Eastern European legends or practice. She asked, “Who is the Orthodox version of St. Valentine?” I decided to look into that question and discovered that St. Hyacinth is the Eastern European answer to St. Valentine!

It seems that there are several men named Hyacinth in the Orthodox calendar of saints. The one most consistently associated with love, like Valentine, was a martyr who was put to death for his faith with his brother Protus during the reign of the emperor Trajan (AD 257-9). They were baptized as adults, spent time living with the hermits in Egypt, were beheaded for their faith, and buried together in one tomb. Their brotherly devotion to each other is one source of their association with matchmaking and love.

But that’s not the end of the story. Hyacinth and Protus are said to have been “brothers,” a frequent euphemism for male partners. Such male partnerships first developed among monks as a way to support their mutual prayer, Bible study, and ascetic effort. Among laymen, this “brotherhood” might or might not have included a sexual aspect. (I highly recommend Claudia Rapp’s excellent study of brother-making if you are interested in learning more about this.)

But that is still not all of the story. St. Hyacinth is also associated with love and devotion because the original Hyacinth, a male character from Greek mythology, was a beautiful young mortal man who was beloved by both Apollo (the sun god) and Zephyrus (the god of the west wind). According to the myth, Zephyrus became jealous of Apollo and angry at sharing the attentions of Hyacinth — Hyacinth was evidently more fond of Apollo. So one day as the three were throwing a discus (not unlike three friends tossing a Frisbee), Zephyrus caused the wind to blow the discus into Hyacinth’s head. Hyacinth died of the gash to his head and the first bluebells (also called “hyacinth”) bloomed where his blood spattered the ground. The small blossoms of the flowers are marked by dark spots that resemble the Greek letters AI, which spell the word “Alas!” in Greek.

Hyacinths and bluebells are said to prevent someone from telling a lie just as Hyacinth was honest about his feelings for Apollo. The flowers are also used to promote love and fidelity. They were used in folk medicine but the bulbs contain toxic drugs and are not usually used any more. They are sometimes called “harebells” because rabbits are frequently seen where the flowers bloom and are said by some to be used by witches as they transform into were-rabbits.

There is a wonderful series about bluebell and hyacinth folklore here.

And what about Eastern European love magic? I found a great article about contemporary folk magic in an area where Serbia and Romania meet.

St. Hyacinth = St. Valentine

Hyacinth and bluebells are traditionally associated with love and fidelity, telling the truth — and rabbits!

“Saint Hyacinth!” Who’d athunk it?!

Last week, a reader of Romanian background remarked that the post about St. Valentine and love magic made no reference to Eastern European legends or practice. She asked, “Who is the Orthodox version of St. Valentine?” I decided to look into that question and discovered that St. Hyacinth is the Orthodox answer to St. Valentine!

It seems that there are several men named Hyacinth in the Orthodox calendar of saints. The one most consistently associated with love, like Valentine, was a martyr who was put to death for his faith with his brother Protus during the reign of the emperor Trajan (AD 257-9). They were baptized as adults, spent time living with the hermits in Egypt, were beheaded for their faith, and buried together in one tomb. Their brotherly devotion to each other is one source of their association with matchmaking and love.

But that’s not the end of the story. Hyacinth and Protus are said to have been “brothers,” a frequent euphemism for male partners. Such male partnerships first developed among monks as a way to support their mutual prayer, Bible study, and ascetic effort. Among laymen, this “brotherhood” might or might not have included a sexual aspect. (I highly recommend Claudia Rapp’s excellent study of brother-making if you are interested in learning more about this.)

But that is still not all of the story. St. Hyacinth is also associated with love and devotion because the original Hyacinth, a male character from Greek mythology, was a beautiful young mortal man who was beloved by both Apollo (the sun god) and Zephyrus (the god of the west wind). According to the myth, Zephyrus became jealous of Apollo and angry at sharing the attentions of Hyacinth — Hyacinth was evidently more fond of Apollo. So one day as the three were throwing a discus (not unlike three friends tossing a Frisbee), Zephyrus caused the wind to blow the discus into Hyacinth’s head. Hyacinth died of the gash to his head and the first bluebells (also called “hyacinth”) bloomed where his blood spattered the ground. The small blossoms of the flowers are marked by dark spots that resemble the Greek letters AI, which spell the word “Alas!” in Greek.

Hyacinths and bluebells are said to prevent someone from telling a lie just as Hyacinth was honest about his feelings for Apollo. The flowers are also used to promote love and fidelity. They were used in folk medicine but the bulbs contain toxic drugs and are not usually used any more. They are sometimes called “harebells” because rabbits are frequently seen where the flowers bloom and are said by some to be used by witches as they transform into were-rabbits.

There is a wonderful series about bluebell and hyacinth folklore here.

And what about Eastern European love magic? I found a great article about contemporary folk magic in an area where Serbia and Romania meet.